


Kinktober 2020: Shower Sex, Scars

by Perpetual Motion (perpetfic)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/F, Kinktober 2020, Scars Worship, Shower Sex, amanda rollins goes to therapy and learns goddamnit, and all of them are in a MOOD, three kids under the age of ten
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:21:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27070387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perpetfic/pseuds/Perpetual%20Motion
Summary: It's beenA Week.Liv and Amanda finally get a moment to breathe.
Relationships: Olivia Benson/Amanda Rollins
Comments: 7
Kudos: 51
Collections: Kinktober 2020: SVU Filth The Sequel





	Kinktober 2020: Shower Sex, Scars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Norskabi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Norskabi/gifts).



They have _A Week_. 

The emphasis is something Liv's picked up from Amanda in the eighteen months since they started building a romantic relationship. The _Week_ in question is brought on by a series of meltdowns. First from Billie. Who screamed every time she was left at and picked up from daycare. Then, from Noah, who had loudly announced at a family dinner he didn't want Amanda and the girls to move in because he didn't want to share his toys with _babies_ , and then, finally, by Jesse. Who had responded to being called a baby by hitting Noah with her (thankfully) plastic glass and then greeting him the next day by pushing him down and then bursting into tears the moment Amanda and Liv had rallied to discipline her. 

Liv assumes it's only dumb fucking luck that's kept either of them from having one of the kids screaming about one of them not being a "real mom," and she's so grateful she almost doesn't agree to Jesse's punishment of no playtime with friends for two days. 

Lucky for everyone, Uncle Sonny and Uncle Rafa don't count as friends. So, when Sonny--fully aware of the week they've had--offers Rafael and himself as babysitters for two days so Liv and Amanda can get a breather, Liv is more than happy to accept the offer on behalf of her and Amanda both. 

"They're going to shove them full of candy," Amanda says when Liv informs her they have two whole days alone. 

"Rafael, maybe, but not Sonny," Liv replies because they both know who the sucker is when it comes to the kids. 

"No, he's just going to fill them full of carbs and butter." Amanda holds up her hands before Liv can respond. She scrubs her hands over her face, takes a long, deep breath, and then drops her arms. "I'd like to try that again," she says. 

Liv smiles. It's a tool Amanda's learned in therapy. She's working on accepting help, but she's also still stiff about apologies, so she and her therapist came up with trying again, which Liv has always been more than happy to agree to. "I'm happy to try again," she says. It's her agreed upon part in the conversation. She has phrases for when Amanda's prickly self-defense is truly inappropriate, but this isn't one of those times.

Amanda takes another deep breath and takes a step towards Liv. They're in Liv's office--imperfect for any conversations about their personal lives but not completely inhospitable--so Liv doesn't step closer to pull Amanda into a hug. It's an invisible line, but it's very important to them both. 

"I'm glad Sonny and Rafael are willing to take those monsters," Amanda says, and Liv chuckles at the description. It is very apt for this week. "And I'm really looking forward to a couple of quiet days with just you." 

Liv beams. "Me, too," she says. "I looked at those apartment listings you sent me. I think a few are a really good match. We can actually look at them without the kids interrupting."

Amanda's whole face lights up. "Yeah? Which ones did you like?"

Liv glances at the clock. They're ten minutes from leaving. She doesn't want to jinx it. "Let's talk about it after the kids are out the door," she says. 

Amanda cuts her a wry grin, clearly reading her thoughts. "Okay," she says. "Wanna order something we'd never eat in front of the kids because we don't wanna teach them bad habits?"

"Oh, my god, yes."

*

It takes an hour to round up the kids, then forty minutes to get them packed. Noah and Jesse are both excited to get to spend a weekend with Uncle Sonny and Uncle Rafa. Billie, at twenty months, doesn't have an opinion until Sonny and Rafael show up at the door, and then she screeches in delight and toddles directly at Rafael until she can wrap her arms around his calves.

"Hi," Rafael says to Billie, all smiles. Liv's never teased him about his ever-growing ability to handle children. She's sure Sonny harasses him plenty. But there's still a thrill in her chest when Billie holds up her arms and Rafael scoops her up without hesitation. 

"You know the rules," Amanda says to Sonny.

"We do," Sonny says. He already has Noah on his back and Jesse talking excitedly about every single thing she learned about dinosaurs that week. "See you in two days."

"Thank you both," Liv says as Amanda echoes the same. 

And then it's just the two of them in Amanda's apartment, the quiet so profound it almost vibrates. Liv meets Amanda five feet from the door and happily drinks the deep, single-focus kiss Amanda gives her. 

"Please take a shower with me," Amanda says. "Just you and me and a long, hot shower without anyone screaming or any little hands coming under the bathroom door."

"Yes, please," Liv replies, pulling away to cup Amanda's face. "Fucking yes."

They walk to the bathroom together, Liv crowding Amanda all the way down the hall. Amanda starts the water as Liv strips, and by the time she's naked, Amanda's just as naked and grinning at her as she steps into the tub.

Liv follows her into the shower just as eagerly as she followed her down the hall. She closes the curtain behind herself and steps under the water to meet Amanda for a messy kiss. The hot water streams over both of them. Liv loves the way they have to break apart to keep the water from overrunning the kiss, only to meet again for yet another moment of contact. 

Amanda finally pulls away and presses her fingertips to Liv's mouth to stop her from leaning in again. Liv stays still, letting Amanda set the pace. 

"This week fucking sucked," Amanda says after a quiet moment. "But it sucked less because you were here." 

Liv smiles against Amanda's fingers and kisses them. "Same," she says. 

Amanda looks down, and her fingers follow, touching Liv's breasts and belly and hips. "I'm so lucky you like me," she says. 

"I love you," Liv replies. She touches Amanda's hand on her hip, then laces their fingers together when Amanda turns her hand palm up. Liv pulls Amanda to her, slowly turning them at the same time so that the water is on her own back. "I love you," she repeats once she has Amanda pressed firmly against her front. 

"I love you," Amanda says. Her voice is firm, but she can't meet Liv's gaze. 

Liv leans forward and kisses Amanda's forehead, then trails her lips to Amanda's temple. She's pretty sure she knows why Amanda's having a hard time taking back the love Liv is giving her, but she also knows the direct path isn't the way to go. The kids are off for the weekend. The hot water heater has plenty of water to spare. They don't need to be direct in this moment, Liv thinks. They've had _A Week_ , and now they have some actual _Time_ to just be together. 

Liv considers her options as she busses a kiss on Amanda's cheek and pushes Amanda's wet hair off her face. Amanda meets her gaze for a moment, and she looks naked and raw, worn down by a hard week and the effort it takes to sew together two, distinct families. 

Liv has an idea. 

She cups Amanda's face in her hands and kisses her on the mouth, then lowers herself to her knees and meets Amanda's gaze before dragging her mouth along the entire length of Amanda's C-section scars. 

Amanda squirms, and her hands push lightly at Liv's shoulders, saying without words that Liv should be focusing elsewhere. Liv looks up at Amanda, her arms comfortable around Amanda's hips. Amanda's looking down at her, but she doesn't look comfortable. She looks unsure. 

"I remember when you had to go on bed rest for the end of your pregnancy with Jesse," Liv says before Amanda can speak. "I missed having you around the squad so much. I thought it was the loss of my only female colleague, but looking back, that wasn't it."

Amanda stares at Liv. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that at the time, I was absolutely sure I missed you because without you there, it was me and Amaro and Sonny and Fin, and that was just a lot of men to put up with. But I look back, and I can see that wasn't the entire story." Liv takes a moment to kiss Amanda's C-section scars again. "Now," she says against Amanda's stomach, but loud enough she knows it carries. "Now I know it was about missing _you_ , not just about missing some other woman in the bullpen."

"Liv," Amanda says quietly. She gasps when Liv bites lightly at her scars. 

Liv drags her palms up and down the outside of Amanda's thighs, then sucks a quick kiss over Amanda's gunshot scar. She hears Amanda gasp and goes back to Amanda's C-section scars, nuzzling the double-line of them as she licks the hot water off Amanda's stomach. 

"Liv."

"I had a fucking epiphany when you dumped Al," Liv says. It's very hard to meet Amanda's eyes again, but she does it anyway. She's never told Amanda this, but she's sworn to herself time and again that she's going to. "I heard you'd dumped him, and I thought, 'This is it. This is the one chance I have left.'"

"What," Amanda breathes. She combs Liv's hand off her forehead and looks utterly shocked. "Liv. You." She shakes her head. "You never ran out of chances with me, honey."

"I should have," Liv replies. She squeezes Amanda's hips tight when Amanda shakes her head again. "I should have," she repeats, slow and deliberate, "and I am grateful every day you jumped into what we have now when I was finally able to ask for it."

It was two months after Billie was born. Liv had stopped by Amanda's with Noah because he'd wanted to meet the baby, and as Noah had held Billie on Amanda's couch with Jesse overseeing the entire thing with the skeptical eye of the best big sisters, Liv had taken her shot. Told Amanda that, if Amanda were interested, she'd want to build their families together as one. Amanda had breathed 'yes' so quickly Liv had thought she'd misheard, but then Amanda had taken her hand and Liv had known she'd heard exactly right.  
"Liv," Amanda says again.

Before she can reassure Liv again, Liv nuzzles her belly one more time, then slides her mouth from Amanda's C-section scars down to her cunt. She licks into her without preamble, loving how the hot water hitting her back is nothing compared to the hot, slick wetness of Amanda herself. When Amanda groans and cups her head, Liv responds by pressing her face in hard, rubbing her nose back and forth across Amanda's clit as she licks as deep as she can. 

Amanda gasps and presses against Liv's face. Her hands clench and unclench in Liv's hair. She rocks against Liv's face in short, uneven thrusts. 

Liv moans to encourage Amanda to keep moving and hums in approval when Amanda does so. She tongue fucks Amanda and clenches her fingers tight on her hips, holding her close as she works her to orgasm. 

"Liv," Amanda whispers, choked. "Liv. Liv."

Liv pulls away to take a deep breath, and she looks up at Amanda's face. Amanda looks beautifully wrecked, her entire face shining with love and lust. "Come on my face," Liv says and presses back in. She pushes her tongue against Amanda's clit as she lets go of Amanda's left hip to press two fingers into Amanda's cunt. 

"Oh, shit," Amanda says, bending nearly double as she clutches the back of Liv's head and grinds against her face. "Oh, shit. Oh, shit."

Amanda comes with a loud groan, her hips and legs shaking as Liv eats her through it. She stays curled over Liv for several seconds until she takes a heaving, hard breath and manages to straighten up. 

Liv stands up and pulls Amanda under the water, moaning when Amanda licks her own taste out of Liv's mouth. She gets a loose hold on Amanda's wrist when Amanda tries to get a hand on her cunt. "I'm okay," she says, though she's already on the edge of her skin. "You can take care of me in bed."

Amanda hums, then laughs. "Sex in bed? With three kids? Sounds decadent."

Liv laughs in return, kissing Amanda again as she reaches backwards to turn the water just a notch hotter before it can cool.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to M for the beta!


End file.
